Jack and the Beanstalk (2009) Movie Review

Jack and the Beanstalk (2009) (IMDB)

Jack and the Beanstalk 2009 movie poster

This is the story you know with a bit of a modern twist. NO, not the version from 1912, 1913, 1917, 1920, 1923, 1924, 1931, 1933, 1943, 1947, 1949, 1952, 1953, 1956, 1965, 1967, 1968, 1970, 1974, 1990, 1998, 1999, 2001, 2005, 2014, 2018, or 2020, but the 2009 version that includes Chloë Grace Moretz, in one of her early roles. (i don’t have an hour to link all those versions, just trust me they exist) She isn’t the only recognizable face (and voice) you will see (hear) in the movie, but you can discover that on your own ! In this version of Jack’s quest up the beanstalk he meets a variety of fairy tale characters along the path of his quest. During the quest, while in a stone maze a pillow fight breaks out between a good ninja and 4 bad ones. The good ninja helps our characters get to the center of the maze where the guard is played by an iconic comedian ! The story plays out generally how you remember from there. Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum. The target audience for this is kids with not many things for an adult to enjoy. Overall the movie is fine, but not an award winner.

I give it a 5.2/10.

Moscow Zero (2006) Movie Review

Moscow Zero (2006) (IMDB)

Moscow Zero movie poster

The start of this movie sets a tone, and that tone is cold, snowy and overcast. Our movie is about a priest (played by Vincent Gallo) who visits the underground of Moscow in search of a friend who went missing. It just so happens this underground has many layers to it and is rumored to contain demons and the entrance to hell. This underground is basically a labyrinth which is difficult to navigate, full of homeless people and demons. It does not seem much warmer than ground level. As far as maze movies go, it reminds me a bit of Catacombs which takes place in the catacombs of Paris, The Depraved which takes place in Berlin’s underground and Jeruzalem which partially involves the underground of…..Jerusalem (that one was easy). Here are my review of those 3:

Catacombs (2007) Movie Review

The Depraved (2011) Movie Review

Jeruzalem (2015) Movie Review

What do those movies and this one all have in common ? They all suck.

I give it a 4/10

Unforgettable (1996) Movie Review

Unforgettable (1996) (IMDB)

Unforgettable (1996) movie poster

Ray Liotta stars as a medical examiner, Dr. Krane, in this thriller about a man who is obsessed with finding the man who killed his wife. He meets a doctor who is experimenting with a new drug that allows the memory of one rat (and hopefully in the future, a person) to be transferred to another. The drug is shown helping a rat solve a maze easily that it had never been in after being injected with memories from another rat familiar with running the maze. Dr. Krane steals some of the serum for himself and begins experimenting with using it to track down the killer. A twisted mystery unfolds as the pursuit continues. The serum helps long the way and the story gets complicated. Overall, the movie is well acted, as a dark tone and has a relatively novel idea for the premise. The movie is worth a watch but you’ll need to stay off your devices to follow the story.

I give it a 6.2/10

Looking to Buy a House with a Maze ?

This article was flagged for me by the almighty algorithm, all hail the algorithm and our upcoming benevolent AI leaders. So an estate in New York, one that someone from a flyover state like me would refer to as a “house” is for sale with a maze on the property (“in the yard” for those that need flyover translations). No need to translate that it is located on 280 acres, has 8 bedrooms and you probably can’t afford it.

The house is being sold by Sotheby’s International Real Estate and is listed for $10 Million. The photo gallery is worth a look and includes some great views of the maze ! I will quote directly from the Sotheby’s site:

“At its core lies one of the most extraordinary sculptural landmarks in the world: the largest stone maze ever built, a 1,680-foot-long environmental sculpture by British artist Michael Ayrton. Completed in 1965 and described by the artist as "the only one of stone since the 4th or 5th century B.C.," the labyrinth features towering walls and original bronzes of Daedalus, Icarus, and the Minotaur.”

If you zoom in on the map of the house the maze is located SW of the main house.

 

If you end up buying this my finders fee is a visit to the maze.