Time Bandits (1981) Movie Review

Time Bandits (1981) Movie Review IMDB Amazon

Time Bandits movie poster

Time Bandits is a 1981 film written and directed by Terry Gilliam. Yes, the same Terry Gilliam of Monty Python and the Holy Grail, The Meaning of Life, Brazil, 12 Monkeys, and Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. This movie would best be described as a time travel fantasy film with a Monty Python feel to it. Very British.

The story begins with an 11 year old boy being visited by 6 time traveling dwarves who bust through the wardrobe in his room. The dwarves are being chased because they have stolen a map from the supreme being that they are using to steal treasures across time. The boy joins them on the adventure that starts with an interesting escape from his room. From here we visit Napoleon (Ian Holm), Robin Hood (John Cleese), King Agamemnon (Sean Connery) and the Titanic. We even get a scene in the middle ages with a Minotaur like creature, but not in a maze.

This is a movie full of imagination and fun storytelling. Great costumes. And about 80 minutes into the movie we have a maze ! The maze appears during a game show sequence that is a trap Evil has set to steal the map from the dwarves. Evil is our appropriately named bad guy. A lot more crazy things happen as the dwarves, Evil and the supreme being try to acquire the map. The story ages very well and this is a movie that can be re-watched multiple times and enjoyed. I give it a 7.5/10.

And as far as trailers go, this is a really good one IMO. It really gives you an idea of what kind of comedy movie you are getting yourself into !

Hellbound: Hellraiser II (1988) Movie Review

Hellbound: Hellraiser II (1988) IMDB Amazon

Hellbound Hellraiser II movie poster

Hellraiser is a horror franchise that has over a dozen movies to its credit. Most of the films went straight to video and are poorly reviewed. But this sequel to the original horror classic Hellraiser was released in theaters.

The first thing we need to discuss. How many horror films do you know that revolve around an evil mattress ? One. This one. And that leads to someone coming back from another dimension through the mattress (with the minor inconvenience of not having any skin). In order to regenerate some skin they feed on mentally ill patients (high vitamin D maybe ?). And then the real fun starts, because halfway thru the movie the characters open the gateway to hell ( they are hell-bound just like the title!)

So what does hell look like ? Is it fire and brimstone ? No, it is more of a huge stone maze with a a bit of an MC Escher feel to it. It also looks a bit cold and damp. I mean we get some fire later…but just overall felling is dark and dingy like the basement of a house you don’t want to live in. Here is a look:

Hellraiser 2 Maze scene

Looks pretty cool. Unfortunately this movie is poorly written and acted. I give it a 5/10.

Tales from the Crypt (1972) Movie Review

Tales from the Crypt (1972) IMDB Amazon

Tales from the Crypt movie poster

I like horror films from the 1970’s. They aren’t as formulaic as the horror movies of today. It is all about the story and not the special effects. I think this British horror film is especially good at storytelling. This particular movie is based on a set of comics of the same name from the early 1950’s, but you wouldn’t know it from the content.

The opening credits begin with some really good pipe organ music while showing scenes in a cemetery. The movie starts with a group of people on a sightseeing tour under the cemetery in the catacombs where a tour guide says, please keep up with me and do not get lost. But of course this means that 5 from the group get separated, and lost in the maze-like catacombs. Eventually the 5 enter a room and find a Crypt Keeper who tells 5 stories about how each of them might die.

We then see each character get their own story before returning for a final scene and resolution to the movie. Without spoiling anything Story 1 is about a Christmas gift gone wrong and a Santa sighting. Story 2 takes a family man on a late night drive with a friend. Story 3 centers around Valentine’s Day and a bit of neighborly love. Story 4 gives us the classic 3 wish scenario where you need to be careful what you wish for ! and finally Story 5 gives us a new superintendent at a home for the blind who causes enough trouble that a razorblade walled maze is constructed for him to traverse.

Overall some really good stories. I give it a solid 7/10.

Or maybe just watch the full movie !

Thir13een Ghosts (2001) Movie Review

Thir13een Ghosts (2001) IMDB Amazon

Thir13en Ghosts movie poster

Your rich uncle dies and he leaves you his house. Who wouldn’t be excited to see your new mansion !! Oh, by the way it has glass walls on the inside. That is a bit weird. Hmmm. Glass walls sound a bit like a mirror maze, and as the story unfolds the walls shift in the house, making it a maze for the occupants to move through. Did I mention the house has been sealed and they are trapped inside? I didn’t. Oh, well they are trapped inside with 12 ghosts who can only be seen by wearing special glasses. So, if 12 ghosts are chasing them around a glass walled mazelike house why is the movie called Thir13een ghosts ? And that is the story.

The good of the movie is an interesting story concept and an unfolding mystery. The bad is the cartoonlike visuals of the 12 ghosts. I would prefer a more menacing group than one that kids could watch (with exceptions for The Jackal and the Juggernaut which are both excellent baddies).

This is actually remake of the 1960 film 13 Ghosts by William Castle.

There was a lot of potential here, but it didn’t deliver. I give it a 5/10.