Minotaur (2006) Movie Review

If there’s one thing I know about labyrinths it is that in the center you might just find a mythical Minotaur protecting it.

Minotaur (2006) (IMDB)

Minotaur (2006) movie poster

This is a fantasy film about the Minotaur monster starring Tom Hardy !! Note that this is 2006 Tom Hardy and not the 2008 Tom Hardy which has starred in Bronson and RocknRolla and became the actor we now know. NO, this was his first film where he was the lead actor (we all start somewhere). We have already reviewed Mazes and Monsters starring Tom Hanks, considered to be his worst movie ever. Well wouldn’t you know it, this happens to be Tom Hardy’s worst rated film ever. But to be fair that is balanced out by his character in one of the greatest maze movies ever (and wonderful regardless of genre), Inception.

Here is the gist of this terrible film. A village sacrifices youths to the Minotaur until Tom Hardy and a band of misfits fights back. Most of the movie takes place in the labyrinth with the group being chased by the beast. For a film with a low budget I must say the beast looks pretty good all things considered. This film is a loose retelling of the famous Greek myth, Theseus and the Minotaur. However, plot points have been changed to keep things fresh ? Tom Hardy’s character is named Theo in the film as a nod to Theseus. Sadly the overall acting in the film is very bad with the key problem for me being overacting. The script does not help much either.

Whatever. 3/10.

If you like the story of Theseus and the Minotaur, in this blog post I compare 4 different comic book versions of it, which feature great illustrations. I was able to checkout each from my local library online !!

Maze Comic Book Reviews - Theseus and the Minotaur

Here is a link to watch the trailer:

Labyrinth Within (2010) Movie Review

What makes a foreign film not so foreign ? How about when it has no dialogue at all ? That is what we have with the short film Labyrinth Within.

Labyrinth Within (2010) (IMDB)

Labyrinth Within (2010) movie poster

A short film with no dialogue. Chances are that is enough to know if you would like this film personally or not. I could speak to the extensive dance sequences in a ballet style and the classical music score that is excellent IMO but even without knowing those things the first line told you if you wanted to see this or not. I could add that there are 3 characters and it is about jealousy - because that is what I read.

Now, if you search for this movie there is a good chance you will be directed to the David Bowie song Within You from the movie Labyrinth, so if you want to take some time and click on the link - - I’ll wait for you. Of course the best part of that is his hair with the MS Escher - Relativity inspired room a close second. Did I get off track ? Labyrinth Within is a ballet short. Not for me, but maybe you’ll like it ?

Here is a link to watch the trailer:

Eye in the Labyrinth (1972) Movie Review

It’s time to review another maze/labyrinth movie ! This one is a standard low budget horror film from Italy called L'occhio nel labirinto or Eye in the Labyrinth.

Eye in the Labyrinth (1972) (IMDB)

L'occhio nel labirinto (1972) movie poster
Eye in the Labyrinth (1972) movie poster

Nothing like an Italian film dubbed into English where the voice doesn’t match the person speaking ! This isn’t an old Japanese film where things get really wild when a character speaks but the version I watched was dubbed instead of subtitled and this did change the presentation of the film. That said, when you are tired, not having to read subtitles is a plus.

Let’s start with some education. This is an Italian giallo film, which means yellow in Italian. A giallo film is a genre of Italian film making that features a murder mystery with elements of horror, slasher, and sexploitation mixed in. Typically the murderer is not known until the very end of the film in a big reveal. The genre got it’s name from murder mystery books printed in Italy starting in 1929 that all featured a yellow background color. You can read more about all of this if interested on Wikipedia.

The opening title card states “A labyrinth is constructed to confuse the human mind. It's architecture rich in symmetry, is subordinated to that result. - José Luís Borges”. And that’s the last of the maze/labyrinth references although there is plenty of confusion in the movie which may remind you of solving a maze.

The film starts with a man being chased in what appears to be an underground concrete structure. It seems like this could represent a maze/labyrinth since he is trying to escape. Things do not end well for him. Part of me wanted to say SPOILER before that, but if something happens in the first minutes of a film to set-up the entire premise what are you really spoiling ? OK, on to the main part of the film - a woman ends up trying to find her missing lover, the psychiatrist (ok, ok we did not know his profession at the time - you win) we saw being chased in the first scenes of the film. Because if a person is missing there is one rule movies are famous for and that is DO NOT go to the police. The best thing to do is clearly to start your own investigation, because movies. I can’t tell you how many important investigations my friends and I have started throughout the years. Except we didn’t call them investigations we called them capers. So many stories.

Back to the movie. It is well directed, has good acting and nice camera work in some very nice settings (across Tuscany, Italy) that will make you want to take a vacation. But this is a mystery thriller that never felt tense. I felt bored watching it and that is a problem for a thriller. Say this is on tv and you are watching it and someone says ‘hey we need to leave’, you would not protest at all, just turn off the tv and go never caring what happened to the characters. But also, if nobody bothers you, you probably wouldn’t be annoyed enough to turn the channel either. I give it a boring, but well made 6/10.

Here is the trailer, or you can watch the entire film directly on YouTube with this link !

Haunted Maze (2017) Movie Review

It’s time to review another Maze movie ! This one is a standard low budget horror film. Let’s get to it !

Haunted Maze (2017) (IMDB)

Haunted Maze (2017) movie poster

Clowns are scary. Unless they are in a movie that features bad acting a weak script and a low budget. Then clowns become a different kind of scary. We have all heard of b-list movies. But this one appears to have been made with an even lower budget. Maybe a d-list movie where everyone is paid in donuts for showing up each day ? Is that a thing ?

The Premise: A group of friends enter a Halloween maze run by traveling carnies somewhere in a small town in the Midwest. I feel like we have seen this before. Seems similar to The Funhouse Massacre that I reviewed previously. And it is, kind of, except without Robert Englund and with much, much worse acting. The story also takes place with a story structure that involves 2 police detectives interviewing Clancy the Clown who insists on rhyming everything he says. There is a haunted maze which got me interested in watching it. It was a mistake.

I would rate this a 2/10 with a strong avoid. Luckily it can be found for free on many streaming platforms, but take those 88 minutes and stab yourself with a butter knife instead. Or film yourself doing impossible shots or eating live bugs. Or go to the dentist. Anything but watching this. I will say that as of the time of this writing the film has less than 200 reviews on IMDB, a very low number but appropriate. Maybe we ARE all going to be ok.

The movie happens to make my list of 10 Unbelievably Bad Maze Movies to Never, Ever Watch at a very high spot.

Here is the trailer. And before watching it consider that this is supposed to get you excited to watch the other 87 minutes. This is the highlight reel of the movie…the advertising…the make them want to pay to see this….