Time Bandits (1981) Movie Review

Time Bandits (1981) IMDB

Time Bandits movie poster

Time Bandits is a 1981 film written and directed by Terry Gilliam. Yes, the same Terry Gilliam of Monty Python and the Holy Grail, The Meaning of Life, Brazil, 12 Monkeys, and Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. This movie would best be described as a time travel fantasy film with a Monty Python feel to it. Very British.

The story begins with an 11 year old boy being visited by 6 time traveling dwarves who bust through the wardrobe in his room. The dwarves are being chased because they have stolen a map from the supreme being that they are using to steal treasures across time. The boy joins them on the adventure that starts with an interesting escape from his room. From here we visit Napoleon (played by Ian Holm), Robin Hood (John Cleese), King Agamemnon (Sean Connery) and the Titanic (played by a different boat). We even get a scene in the middle ages with a Minotaur like creature, but not in a maze.

This is a movie full of imagination, fun storytelling and great costumes. About 80 minutes into the movie we have a maze ! The maze appears during a game show sequence that is a trap Evil has set to steal the map from the dwarves. Evil is our appropriately named bad guy. A lot more crazy things happen as the dwarves, Evil and the supreme being try to acquire the map. The story ages very well and this is a movie that can be re-watched multiple times and enjoyed. I would describe it as British silly.

I give it a 7.4/10.

This was remade in 2024 as a 10 episode series on Appletv+ starring Lisa Kudrow. He has mixed reviews.

And as far as trailers go, this is a really good one IMO. It really gives you an idea of what kind of comedy movie you are getting yourself into !

Hellbound: Hellraiser II (1988) Movie Review

Hellbound: Hellraiser II (1988) IMDB

Hellbound Hellraiser II (1988) movie poster

Hellraiser is a horror franchise that has over a dozen movies to its credit. Most of the films went straight to video and are poorly reviewed. But this sequel to the original horror classic Hellraiser was released in theaters.

The first thing we need to discuss. How many horror films do you know that revolve around an evil mattress ? I don’t think we can count The Exorcist because it takes place in bed, I mean the mattress is evil. One. This one. And that leads to someone coming back from another dimension through the mattress (with the minor inconvenience of not having any skin). In order to regenerate some skin they feed on mentally ill patients (high vitamin D maybe ?). Then the real fun starts, because halfway thru the movie the characters open the gateway to hell (they are hell-bound just like the title!).

So what does hell look like ? Is it fire and brimstone ? No, it is more of a huge stone maze with a a bit of an MC Escher feel to it. It also looks a bit cold and damp. I mean we get some fire later…but just the overall feeling is dark and dingy like the basement of a house you don’t want to live in. I notice that there are low safety standards in hell. High walkways with no bannisters or barriers to stop you from falling off the edge. But maybe that’s ok. I mean you are already dead….so if you fall…do you die again ago go to second hell ? I have questions.

Here is a screenshot to give you an idea of what hell looks like:

Hellraiser 2 Maze scene

Looks pretty cool.

Unfortunately this movie is poorly written and acted. I give it a 5/10.

If you decide to watch it, then go ahead and watch Hellraiser 3, but then stop and skip every other version unless you like to watch very bad movies.

Check out the trailer:

Tales from the Crypt (1972) Movie Review

Tales from the Crypt (1972) IMDB

Tales from the Crypt (1972) movie poster

I like horror films from the 1970’s. They aren’t as formulaic as the horror movies of today. Older horror films are more about the story and not the special effects. I think this British horror film is especially good at storytelling. This particular movie is based on a set of comics of the same name from the early 1950’s, but you wouldn’t know it from the content.

The opening credits begin with some really good pipe organ music while showing scenes in a cemetery. The movie starts with a group of people on a sightseeing tour under the cemetery in the catacombs where a tour guide says, please keep up with me and do not get lost. But of course this means that 5 from the group get separated, and lost in the maze-like catacombs. Eventually the 5 enter a room and find the Crypt Keeper who tells 5 stories about how each of them might die.

We then see each character get their own story before returning for a final scene and resolution to the movie. Without spoiling anything Story 1 is about a Christmas gift gone wrong and a Santa sighting. Story 2 takes a family man on a late night drive with a friend. Story 3 centers around Valentine’s Day and a bit of neighborly love. Story 4 gives us the classic 3 wish scenario where you need to be careful what you wish for ! and finally Story 5 gives us a new superintendent at a home for the blind who causes enough trouble that a razorblade walled maze is constructed for him to traverse. The ensemble cast includes Peter Cushing and Joan Collins.

Overall these were some really good stories. The 92 minute run time split into multiple stories works well for this.

I give it a solid 7/10.

Check out the trailer:

Or maybe just watch the full movie !

Barbarella (1968) Movie Review

It is time again to review a movie that contains a maze or labyrinth. Today we look athe the cult calssic fantasy movie from 1968, Barbarella starring Jane Fonda.

Barbarella (1968) (IMDB)

Barbarella movie poster

Describing a movie like this can be difficult. It takes place in the year 40,000 and since I do not have a time machine (but would not admit if I did), I cannot say for sure that this is how people will dress in the future, but this looks like a fashion show gone wrong. But, someone would say the same thing about today from 1920, 1820, 1720, 1620…so what do I know.

I know that this is a bad movie. The kind of movie that if you are forced to watch it you do yourself a favor and watch it at a minimum of 1.5X speed. Jane Fonda looks great in 1968. You see a lot of her because she doesn’t seem to have enough clothing most of the time. Not to interrupt myself, but shouldn’t I mention the maze/labyrinth in the movie ?

When Barberella crash lands on a planet during her mission, she must find Durand Durand in the evil city of Sogo. Surrounding Sogo is a labyrinth that contains all the good people who have been expelled from the city because they are not evil. Barb needs to find a way out of the labyrinth and into Sogo. Some of the walls are made of people. Like Soylent Green. Did I ruin it ? It came out in 1973. Deal with it.

The music is terrible. The fashion is questionable. The acting is frightful. The special effects are horrid even adjusting for time, but the poster is kind of awesome !

I give this a 5/10. It is a fun watch if you don’t expect to see anything great.

Check out the movie trailer: